The correct definition of FML
by gone-phishing
Summary: I found my mate… Problem? Oh, only the fact that he happens to be my step-brother. Did I mention that I'm a werewolf? Enter jealousy, an oblivious strawberry and wolfish desires and you have the correct definition of FML. IchiRuki AU
1. Chapter 1

**Title: The correct definition of FML**

**Summary: I found my mate… Problem? Oh, only the fact that he happens to be my step-brother. Did I mention that I'm a werewolf? Enter jealousy, an oblivious strawberry and wolfish desires and you have the correct definition of FML. IchiRuki AU**

**Rating: T**

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><p>Prologue - Beast<p>

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><p><em>I can't open my eyes. I can't open my eyes. I can't open my eyes.<em>

I chanted to myself as my as my heartbeat thrummed loudly in my ears, almost blocking the sound of bare feet slapping against concrete.

_Keep running. Keep running. Keep running._

I can't stop. Even though with every step I take, another shard of glass digs into the soft underside of my petite feet, even though my body is feeling numb and on the verge of collapsing, and even though my head feels like there is a jackhammer digging into my skull. But no. I can't stop. I can't stop because if I halted my frantic, pained pace for even a moment… that _thing_ would catch up to me, and if that happened, there would be no point anymore. I would die anyway. So I kept running, eyes screwed shut, head pounding, hands shaking, away from the footsteps only moments behind me.

I felt the terrain under my feet change from slimy cobblestone littered with rivets and shards to wet grass. Still, I kept up my pace.

_Don't smell, don't smell, don't smell._

It was a futile attempt, even though I tried, I couldn't stop the rancid stench from entering my nostrils. It smelt like a mixture of rotten meat, blood, and pure decay. It smelt like death.

_Don't think. Don't think. Don't think._

Don't think about the monster 5 steps behind you, or its eyes filled with a disgusting combination of animalistic desires, and bloodlust. Don't think about its golden predatory eyes that once shone cerulean blue, in the midst of passion. Don't think about the razor-sharp claws only mere seconds from your throat, or about how those arms used to comfort you in a tender embrace when you suffered from nightmares. And most of all, don't you dare think about **who** the creature chasing after you is, or who he **used** to be.

Step after step, labored breath after labored breath and I keep moving. I can no longer hear the padding and slashing of pads and claws on the grass. Maybe he - no, it - left. Maybe, maybe, maybe… So consumed by the thought of being free I was, that I didn't notice the quickly changing angle of the grass, so it came as a surprise when my foot collided with a stone, easily fracturing at least two toes. No, that was not the painful part, as my limbs had numbed a long time ago. It was the fact that the impact threw me off balance for a second, which was enough for my exhausted body to give out under me.

I let out a startled yelp as I fell crashing to the ground, as I did one of the things I told myself not to. My eyes swung open, as I came face to face with a creature from my nightmares. His - no - its skin, illuminated by the pale light of the full moon, glistened as the rough coat of black fur reflected the light. Its maw was twisted into a snarl, as its jagged teeth stained yellow were brought ever so slowly to my face. The smell of its breath was enough to make bile rise in my throat, almost making me gag on air.

My violet hues clashed with its golden orbs, in a silent battle of wills. It tackled me to the floor with savage smirk spreading over the creatures lips, and yet, all I could do was stare into the eyes I once knew so well… What happened? Why did this happen… I could only watch with a good amount of horror, as it raised its claws, muscles tensed and its jaw slack, dripping with a combination of blood and drool at the thought of the vile acts it was about to commit.

There were thunder clouds in the background, looking like they were about to burst, though I paid no heed.

It was like a slow motion scene, a gunshot went off the same time as the monster lunged.

There was a splitting pain in my side, as I attempted to focus my bleary vision. The only thing I could see was inky blackness, and I could only feel the intense pain assaulting the left like of my stomach. The next thing I knew, a smell filled my nostrils.

Blood.

It smelt like I was drenched in blood. I desperately attempted to focus my vision as everything slowly came into focus. The first thing I saw was red. So much crimson stained my body, as well as the monster lying motionless beside me. Wait a second. Motionless? I almost yelped in panic as something deep inside me told me to go over to the heap of tattered fur and flesh beside me. I crawled as fast as my battered and beaten body to allow me. With my free arm, I shook its shoulder as hard as I could, which in reality, must have felt like the breath of wind sailing across bare skin. To my surprise as well as horror, its eyes slowly blinked open, yet instead of the golden irises I feared I would see, I met with the same cerulean blue that I had come to love and depend on.

"Sorry, that must have been hard on you." He whispered, his voice scratchy and horse, barely audible. Moisture began to gather around my eyes, as I stubbornly refused to let the tears fall. I could tell by the sound of his voice, and the state of his body that he was dying. But I refused to accept it. He….he couldn't die. He wouldn't die. He wouldn't die, because…. Because he was…

"Arigatō" His voice rang out through the field, as I choked in a mixture of fear and disbelief. Fear that he would leave me, and disbelief that he was thanking me….thanking the reason for his pain, his suffering….his death.

"Because of you….I can leave my heart here…" I wanted to scream at him. Tell him to shut up because with each word he spoke, the truth was hammered deeper and deeper into my brain. He was dying…. He was truly dying… I wanted to tell him that everything would be okay, and that we would both leave here unscathed. And yet…. I couldn't. I couldn't lie to him. Not now. Not ever.

It was then that I noticed how his eyes had dulled to an almost inhuman navy blue. The realization hit me hard. He was dead. He wasn't coming back. And it was all. My. Fault. The tears finally broke free, no matter how much I tried to stop them. I didn't sob, nor wail like an infant. I simply slouched, as the tears tracked down my face. I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn't care. I felt like howling in grief and despair, like taking my anger, frustration and sorrow out on the nearest living thing. But I didn't. I simply sat there, his head cradled in my lap, and allowed darkness and a singular name to invade my mind as the rain crashed down around me.

_Kaien…._


	2. Chapter 2

"I hate planes." A raven-haired woman snorted to herself, glaring out the tiny window as the roaring of the engines finally began to quieten down. The man beside her nodded slightly, before pushing his glasses up and taking a sip from his drink.

"No.." Rukia said more to herself, than her dark haired companion. "Kids these days throw that word 'hate' around so much that its lost all its meaning. I have to find a new word to describe how I feel about them... "

Ishida Uryuu arched an eyebrow. "Detest?" He offered calmly while watching the women before him drift off in deep thought. She was an odd one. Not that he was without his fair share of oddities, but from all the years he had known said woman, the only thing he was able to determine without an ounce of doubt was that she was an enigma. An enigma amongst enigmas.

"I mega-loathe them." She offered finally. Ishida choked a little on his drink in response. Silence descended upon the two, the only sounds being heard were the staff offering drinks to the business class customers. Rukia sunk back into her first class chair, her eyelids drooping closed.

"How much longer?" She asked at last, interrupting Ishida's blank staring at the window.

"We've been flying for 5 minutes." He responded, picking and choosing a meal from the food cart beside them.

"So?"

"7 hours." He responded calmly, choosing a croissant off the rack before placing it on his plate, before taking another sip of his drink.

Rukia sighed heavily, as she watched Ishida take another sip of his drink.

"Can you get drunk on that stuff?" She asked suddenly, as he jolted in surprise at her seemingly random question.

"Can you get drunk on water?" He asked with an eye roll, the rhetorical meaning behind his question obvious.

"What does water have to do with anything?" Rukia asked curiously, furrowing her brows in confusion. "Besides, that's blood not water." she added as an afterthought, as he took yet another sip.

Tiny fangs jutted out from his closed mouth, as he wiped his chin delicately.

"No. To us, blood is just like water." He answered, nodding to himself, satisfied with his answer. Rukia sighed once more. Ishida was boring. Nice guy, good friend, even better vampire, but he was boring. Well...most of the time.

"So, pervert. Excited to see your partner again?" She asked, winking as her companion spluttered as a torrential blush rained across his cheeks.

"Oh lord, not this again." Ishida muttered to himself, still trying to stop his face from looking like a very ripe tomato. You see, vampires mate for life. Sort of like the average werewolf. The problem with this is simply that neither species has any control over who their mate is. It doesn't sound too bad at first, but the vampire / werewolf also _knows_ exactly who their mate is as soon as they lay eyes on them... No matter what age, said mate is.

Simply put? He managed to encounter his mate for the first time when she was 3 years old. So, since then, he has sort of played the protector from the shadows. Sure, he followed her home from school every day for almost a year, but in his eyes, he was just being a good mate.

But then Rukia had discovered where he had been sneaking off to. It probably didn't look very good from her eyes, discovering her best friend had been shirking their plans for almost a year, just to follow a 7 year-old girl home every day.

That's when he got the nickname pervert. Perhaps not the most creative name, but she did like to yell it in public, forever ruining his reputation wherever he went.

"You'll meet her when we get to Karakura." Ishida said with downcast eyes. Since he was turned when he was only 17, he was easily passable for a high school student, and he had been going to school with said mate for the last year and a bit.

As much fun as it was never aging, and all, the fact that no matter how many years passed, bartenders still refused to sell him drinks, coupled with the fact that people always questioned why he was not in school made him wonder whether it was worth it or not.

"I'll be living with Kurosaki, right?" Rukia asked, piling her plate full of food.

"He's really nice. I think you'll like his family too." Ishida answered, taking a bite out of his food.

Rukia raised an eyebrow at the response. "I know he's nice. He was the alpha of _my_ pack before he deserted." She said without flinching. Ishida glanced at her questioningly. He knew this piece of information of course, but she never talked about it casually. Now that he thinks about it, she never mentioned it at all. He had always assumed it was a difficult subject for her, but hearing it being mentioned so casually raised more than a few questions.

"How long did you know him before he..._you know_." Ishida asked cautiously, not wanting to say deserted again.

"Abandoned us you mean? I stopped counting when it reached triple digits." She joked light heartedly, before she began wolfing down her chosen breakfast.

"You say that word with such ease. May I inquire why it doesn't seem to affect you?" The plane had finally risen above the thick layer of clouds blanketing the city. Pale sunlight filtered through the window, leaving Rukia's eyes glinting in a way he had never seen before. She looked almost...reminiscent.

"That's easy. It's because I know what it feels like to have found your mate." she answered with finality, before looking away with downcast eyes. Ishida's eyes widened. She had found her mate? but how? When? So many questions flew through his mind, with only one definite answer. She spoke in past tense, and her mate was probably no longer there.

"Is that why you tease me about Orihime?" He asked at last, when the silence that had fallen between the two became almost unbearable.

"Pretty much, but on another note, Orihime's her name? Congratulations. You're marrying a princess." She said with a smile, before she relaxed. Ishida blushed once more, before looking away and finishing his glass of blood.

"Kurosaki-san has twin girls, who I think you'd like."

"That's odd." Rukia said to herself, shooting a questioning glance at Ishida. "I thought he had a son too?"

Ishida's expression turned bitter, as he practically spat the next sentence.

"He does. His son happens to be on the receiving end of my mate's affections." He growled, narrowing his eyes and glaring at the empty glass.

"Hah! A love triangle already! I love it." She chuckled shortly, before all the humour in her expression fell away, leaving blank eyes that had the world and all its horrors, very much out of place on a 16 year olds body. "If he's Kurosaki's boy, then he should be a werewolf, and thus should know how sacred the idea of a 'mate' is, right?"

"That's where we hit a snag." Ishida sighed, rubbing his temples with a soothing motion. "Kurosaki-san doesn't want to tell his son about...well, everything including that, until he turns."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait." She stopped him, flailing her arms about to stop him. "You mean the kid's not even 16 yet?" Ishida shook his head sadly.

"He turns in June. Until then, I have to watch my mate fawn over another, all the while acting indifferent while he is too damn thick to see how she feels about him. Though it is painful for me to watch her get hurt, over and over again, there is a part of me that is glad he is so clueless. I don't think I'm strong enough to watch them be together." Ishida admitted at last, fists clenched, looking anywhere but his old friend's eyes.

"You're plenty strong if you can admit your weakness out loud." She said at last, her expression warm but her eyes oddly blank. She reached over and patted him on the shoulder lightly, her hand quivering.

His solemn expression soon melted away, and before long he couldn't control his laughter. His stomach ached as he held his ribs and laughed and laughed and laughed. And pretty soon, she was laughing too.

"That was hard for you, wasn't it?" Ishida snorted, referring to the light pat on the shoulder.

"Oh shut up, you know that I'm not good with this whole feelings crap." She replied, before grabbing a pastry and taking a bite. In her own defense, if you spend hundreds of years in a pack, learning how to be a werewolf, being forced to learn how to be human in less than a week is more than impossible.

"I can try help you learn how to act... human, if you'd like." Ishida offered, watching as she devoured the countless pastries on her plate.

"I'm sure I'll do fine." She replied nonchalantly, raising her glass and drinking the entire thing in one gulp.

Ishida simply chuckled sarcastically.

"I'm sure you will."

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><p><strong>Author's Note; I haven't written anything in a <em>looong<em> time. Trying to get back into the swing of things. **

**This story is fun to write. :B**


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